How to write a SyFy channel "original" movie

Lately, I have spent an obscene amount of time watching the SyFy channel. This can only be attributed to intense boredom. Fortunately, I am blessed with a unique ability to pull something positive out of everything I see. After absorbing the essential elements of the programming presented on the channel, I will now present my sure-fire tips on how to make a successful SyFy epic.

Step 1: The Story
Science fiction is about originality and creativity. Finding an idea that hasn't been done to death will be challenging. However, based on my viewing, the following concepts will serve you well:

Giant Insects
Alien Invasion
The reanimation of the dead (they should, of course, become flesh eaters upon resurrection)
Giant reptiles
The resurrection of dead aliens (they should, of course, become flesh eaters)
Giant aliens
Alien insects
Giant alien insects
Reanimated giant reptiles
Alien reptiles
Giant reanimated dead alien insect/reptile hybrids

Step 2: The script
Screenwriting is a craft, and there are no short cuts if you wish to achieve a great piece of work. However, you are writing for the SyFy channel. Try these tips:

Glasses mean smart, and thus save pages in which you must develop a character.
Logic is your enemy
The army is always evil
Science is always evil
Evil is always evil

The following pieces of dialogue are indispensable:
"If that things escapes, it could mean the end of all mankind."
"I don't like the sound of that."
"I'm in charge of this mission and you'll do what I say."
"They're expendable."

Step 3: Casting
For male roles, follow this model:

Call Bruce Campbell
If Bruce refuses, call Lance Henrikssen
If Lance refuses, call Dean Cain
If Dean refuses, give part to first man to pass office window.

For female roles, keep the following in mind:
Must have a D-cup
Must have permanently erect nipples ( do not apply this requirement to male cast, it is very unsettling)
Familiarity with English language not required

Step 4: Shooting the film
Keep the schedule short and the budget lean.
Never do a second take unless something falls on and impales an actor. In this instance, work the injury into the script rather than re-shoot the action.
Get close-ups of the wound, as it represents a neat "make-up effect" that you got for free.
Prior to shooting, save all condiment package from local fast-food chains. This will function as your craft services table.

Step 5: Post-production (special effects)
Nowadays, most special effects are handled via CGI. To make sure your effects are up to the standards of the Sci-fi network, obtain the following:

One small child (he will design the creatures for you)
One Commodore 64 PC

Remember, when chosing a resolution for your graphics, keep things slightly above the level of the Atari 2600.

If you keep these tips in mind, you too can be a movie mogul. My condolences.